I have now been back at home for almost five weeks. When I first got home, I was really excited. I was so pleased to see my husband again and our house looked far better than what I could remember. I was happy to appreciate all that I have at home and spent a lot more time cooking and cleaning than I did before I went away. My neck was hurting me so my first mission was to begin some physiotherapy for that and then find a job.
After just two days of being back, I got a temporary job for two weeks. Despite it being a boring reception job, I was just glad to be earning some money so that I could buy the necessities and begin saving some money. In all of my life, I had never been so poor and that was a pretty scary thought. The good thing was that I had many good memories about the exciting adventure I had just been on, and it was those thoughts that helped me to get through the day.
Once that job finished, I had a week without work which I used to catch up on things and tidy up our home. Although I always keep a tidy house, I tidied it and organised it better than I had done before. For the first time in many years, I was feeling lucky to have this home and to have such a wonderful husband. One thing I did need, however, was an income.
After my week without work, I managed to find another temporary job. After just one week of being there, I am already bored of it. All I am doing is filing; filing invoices and modernisation plans for a supermarket. To start with, it’s a therapeutic thing to do, but it does begin to get tedious after 32 hours of doing the same thing!
What makes it more boring is how it compares to my recent adventure and adventures I have had before that. On top of that, I wonder how I never managed to find a job that I enjoy and find challenging. One thing I’m not good at is competing against others and that seems to make all the difference when it comes to having an interview; not only do you have to show how amazing you are – you have to prove that you are better than anybody else they have in for interview. Perhaps it’s because I have never liked competition. In my mind, competition is pointless, for somebody has to win and somebody has to lose. It’s a bit like war and I don’t like it one bit. I think that’s why I enjoy archery and yoga; I play against myself and do it for myself.
At school, I was such a good child. I always followed instructions carefully and tried my very best with all my work. I was top of the entire year group for science when I was 12. I did my own project on astronomy just because I liked it. I always did too much homework for maths. I tried my best in English lessons, though I hated it. I was not very good at PE because I wasn’t competitive, but I always did as well as I could do and was happy with that. I got top grades for my GCSEs without really trying and for the jobs I have had I have always put maximum effort into them. I was “temp of the month” any years ago and I usually get on really well with the people that I work with. I can speak Portuguese, some German and some Turkish. I also know some Hindi and some Japanese. I have A levels and a degree and I am now doing my Master’s degree – but the temporary places where I work have no idea of this or what kind of person I really am. I look young, I look naive and I probably look boring – but I know that none of that is true.
What I am trying to do now is to find a job that is of interest to me and not to give up on trying to get what I deserve. I may have to learn to compete against myself a little more than I have done in the past but I will not change myself or my beliefs. I feel like I know myself better now than I ever have done before, and that’s thanks to following my dreams and doing what I felt was right when I decided to go to Iceland.
I may need to spend a little time getting back on my feet and feeling excited about my day-to-day life, but I will do my best as I always have done.